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The Perfect Wife

If you're here looking for the perfect wife, I've got bad news for ya... I'm the least likely person to show you how it's done. This show is a selfish excuse to ask a handful of inspiring friends what they think it means to be a GREAT wife, and I can't wait to share our conversations with you here. About The Host: My name is Jessie Pepper and I host a podcast with my husband called Marriage is Funny (BECAUSE IT IS), and we air our dirty laundry over there because even after 9 years... we're still figuring this whole thing out just like everybody else. Bottom line? We’ve learned that Great LOVE is better than perfect love and when things get tough -- belly laughs and bear hugs make everything better. Find out more about both shows at theperfectwife.me + meetthepeppers.com!
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The Perfect Wife
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Now displaying: December, 2016
Dec 17, 2016

Tune in for a quick recap of The Perfect Wife podcast miniseries, and you’ll hear about what’s next for Gerard + Jessie Pepper.  

Don’t forget that we LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie


Find out more about Jessie by connecting with her online!

Web:
www.jessieartigue.com
www.meetthepeppers.com
www.theperfectwife.me
www.styleandpepper.com
www.seasoneveryday.com

Insta:
@styleandpepper
@meetthepeppers

Twitter:
@styleandpepper
@meetthepeppers

 

Dec 15, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Jamie Ivey from Episode 9.0.

Her words were so inspiring, and here are some of the things that have been on my heart since we talked:

+  No one is completely immune to temptation, but loving each other well looks like trusting our partner instead of constantly trying to be good enough for them to stay.

+  Time to resurrect our (nearly non-existant) "date nights" with a few creative ideas, and Jamie has inspired me to sprinkle some romance into my typical quality time with Gerard.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie

Dec 14, 2016

Jamie Ivey and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from quality-time at breakfast to being really clear about clean underwear expectations.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Pulling weeds. Husband’s are hot when they have their hands in the dirt. If you’re not familiar with this epidemic, ask him to do some light yardwork and you will be thanking us later.
  • Adoption as a way to open your eyes to the world. Jamie explains how her experience with growing a family has been one of the ways that her eyes became more open to the world.
  • The downsides of a long engagement. For anyone who happens to prioritize sexual purity, that stretch of time can be a serious struggle. It’s obviously important to know whether your partner is truly “the one,” but setting aside a realistic timeframe is so helpful.  
  • Having breakfast with your babe. Expecting and relishing that time together in the mornings always helps the Iveys start their day with a delicious burst of quality time.
  • Grill + Wine + Good book = Great date night idea. Jamie and Aaron have this all figured out, and need nothing more to create a special evening together. (I have to agree!)
  • Debunking the description of a traditionally perfect wife. It doesn’t necessarily to mean perfect make-up or perpetually clean laundry or staying home to take care of the house around the clock. Different for everybody and definitely not worth getting worked up over.
  • Sex gets better. Jamie claims that once you’ve been doing it for 15 years, you’re nearly bound to get better with time. Put it on the calendar and prioritize it amidst your busy lives. Too many people get tired by the end of the day, and the balance of craving each other and avoiding each other.
  • The fear of infidelity. Jamie says she used to loved Aaron SO well because she wanted to make sure he would never leave her… she has since realized that it’s more important to love her partner because God loves them both. Standing on the truth that Jesus loves us more than worrying whether or not she’ll ever be alone. Trusting God instead of just trusting Aaron.

Jamie says: “At the end of the day, I know that there is nobody else that I’d rather sit on the couch with than Aaron. There is nobody else that’s going to support me more than he will, and there is nobody else that is going to Love me when I (incorrectly) think that I’m always right. We just truly want the best for each other, and that is how I see Great Love come alive in our marriage.”

 

Find out more about Jamie by connecting with her online!
Web: www.jamieivey.com
Insta: @jamieivey
Twitter: @jamie_ivey

 

Dec 13, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Whitney English of Episode 8.0.

Her words were so inspiring, and here are some of the things that have been on my heart since we talked:

+  Speaking our shame out loud is so much better than letting it burrow down deep inside of us. So far, this is the only way I have come up with to stop the meanie monsters from sounding true, and it really does prevent them from clouding out the beautiful reality we’re actually meant to believe.

+  I was intrigued by this concept of coming up with a vision for what you want your marriage to look like down the road. Whether it’s a year from now or 50 years from now, I love the idea that especially once we get past many of the big milestones that wives typically look forward to, this could be one of the things that helps us aim for Great Love when things get strained or even just stagnant.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie

Dec 12, 2016

Whitney English and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from awkward halloween costumes to honest conversations about commitment. early bird specials. how to work your parents for a free dinner.

In this episode you’ll hear us talk about:

  • Making your man work for it. Whitney led her husband David on a hot pursuit for her hand in marriage. He almost let her get away, and the potential regret was what finally made him get serious.

  • Letting your past impact the present. Things we have said and heard and done are what lay the foundation for our current decisions.

  • Scheduling woes. Being intentional about where you spend your time is a futile effort if you’re constantly double booking things that conflict with your partner’s calendar. Considering the disparity between how much each person prioritizes this part of their life can be helpful.
  • Personal growth amidst a partnership. When one spouse is constantly seeking self-improvement, it can sometimes cause the other to feel stubborn and defensive. Once the person continues to see benefits within your own life, they are often more open to the idea of optimizing their own.
  • Embracing imperfect. Whitney was inspired to explore this idea during her time at the OnSite workshop experience. Her journey continued while reading The Birth Order Book. Being a perfectionist might be tough for a perfectionist to admit… because it would mean acknowledging that they are indeed, less than perfect. Two more books on this topic that Whitney recommends: When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough + The Now Habit.
  • How to get through a week of epic business failure. David stepped up to the plate by working three jobs, and Whitney started scraping together ways to make money with every chance she had. Learning to live within very modest means helped them budget consciously, and they still love to let their parents take them to dinner as a way to save money.
  • Reserving enough energy for your partner. Be quick to say “no” unless you’re positive that it’s something that will serve the relationship or the family. Having a great support team helps in terms of delegating your duties to make enough time for each other. Taking the time to be together (away from real life and responsibilities) can be a game changer.
  • Anticipation is often the best part of any event. Whether it’s sex or sushi-dinners at the restaurant down the street, our chance to look forward to something special can make what ever it is feel THAT much more exciting. Tune into the Marriage is Funny episodes about sex here and here.
  • Marriage vision-boarding. When we pass the big milestones that most wives look forward to, it’s helpful to have a goal of something to aim for when the relationship gets strained or stagnant. Ask yourself: What do you want your marriage to look like and what is it going to take to get there?
  • Strengths + weaknesses. Your goal as a spouse should be to minimize each other’s weaknesses and maximize each other’s strengths.

 

Whitney says: “Great Love is making sure that we show our kids that love can be a blast. David and I are on a mission to make that real within our family.” 

 

Find out more about Whitney by connecting with her online!
Insta: @whitneyenglish + @thedaydesigner
Twitter: @whitneyenglish
Fb: The Day Designer

Dec 10, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Krizia Liquido of Verily Magazine.

Her words were so inspiring, and here are some of the things that have been on my heart since we talked:

+ Resentment takes a long time to heal!

+ Having a safe word is a great way to diffuse a fight.

+ Sharing the reality of our relationships drags the shame out of the darkness, and it simply cannot live out here in the light. 

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie

Dec 9, 2016

Krizia Liquido and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from relocating your family to wondering if you may have picked the wrong person to marry. (Spoiler alert: This last one does NOT mean you’re busted.)

In this episode you’ll hear us talk about:

  • First date mistakes. Being late. Using a fancy driver. Buying dinner with a Groupon.

  • Relocating your family. Whether it’s moving across the country or all the way to a new continent, the process of picking up your life and starting fresh somewhere new can be a challenge on any relationship.

  • Creating your own community. Whether you’re blending two groups/families in the same city or making new friends in a place that you’re unfamiliar with, Krizia and Jessie share some ideas and encouragement for how to make this an easier transition. Especially when you feel discouraged, it’s important to remember that it may work differently depending on where you live.  

  • Making friends with fellow parents. Does hanging out at the park give you an advantage when it comes to pursuing new pals? Jessie’s hunch is that motherhood gives you more material to bond over when forging new relationships.

  • Balancing a career and marriage. If one partner has to “pass the baton” more than the other person, it can be breeding ground for the feelings of guilt or resentment to grow. Compromise might sound like a fair option at first, but it’s amazing how easy it is to form a grudge (and how hard it becomes to get over it).

  • Cracking jokes to cope. Laughing through the mess lets you break through the brick wall that a fight can build between you. Helpful reminder from Krizia: Feeling are not facts. Having a safe word might be just the thing you need to bring both partners back to the moment at hand.
  • Love languages. Feeling seen and heard usually depend on being loved in the way that you need most. Get past the cheese-factor of the title, and read this book to learn what this could mean for your own relationship.
  • Family of origin. Most adults pick up everything they know about love from their parents. For those who haven’t had the best marriage to learn from, Krizia explains that hope can be found in finding your own marriage mentors or experts to model after.
  • Wondering if you picked the wrong person. During the rough patches, it can sometimes feel like your decision to get married might have been a big mistake.
  • Going to bed angry. Both Jessie + Krizia believe that sleep (and even just the passing of time) can actually provide a ton of clarity amidst conflict. Make your own ritual of saying “I love you” or bear-hugging before bed, and your relational hygiene will help you stay connected disagreements.
  • What we wish we would have known. Most of the fights between us are rooted in the personal struggles of each person. Big lifestages bring about lots of challenges, and THAT’S NORMAL. Great love is better than perfect love, because it’s actually possible. Being scrappy and hanging on for dear life is the best way to get safely back to the shore.

Krizia says: “Great love means setting our own egos aside in honor of our partner. Especially when you both believe that your way is the better way. Being humble is one of the things that continues to connect us to each other.”

 

Find out more about Krizia by connecting with her online!

Web: www.verilymag.com
Insta: @lifestyleeditor
Twitter: @krizias

Dec 8, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Monica Swanson of The Grom Mom. 

Her words were so inspiring, and here are some of the things that on my heart since we talked:

Could journaling could have notable impact on the communication between my husband and myself? Differing communication styles are actually a gift, but I still need to find a way to be efficient amidst the grace.

Body-image struggles are hard enough when you go it alone, but finding ways to let G know this part of my heart could help strengthen our relationship. Grab Monica's book called The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny Friends, and let's read it together. :) 

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie

Dec 7, 2016

Monica Swanson and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from grappling with your weight to being a mom to four handsome little grommets.

 In this episode you’ll hear about:
  • Getting a rough start. Living with God’s grace to get you through the reality of past relationships. The tough parts make you grateful for the really good parts, and being able to share your story with others can be such an impactful way to encourage couples that you care about.

  • Being a mom to four boys. Keeping energy focused on your marriage, and trying to be gracious when conflicts around parenting begin to sneak into the equation. Knowing that you are not the center of your world can be a big help in getting through this challenge.

  • Balancing work-life and wife-life. When you love your job, it can be tempting to make decisions that prioritize one over the other. It’s important to try and find a rhythm, and remember that setting boundaries will bless and respect both people.

  • Fighting in front of your family. Is it better to keep your conflict behind closed doors or to let your kids learn from your errors? Picking up on ways that you see others stumble can be one way to become better within your own relationships. Journaling also helps as a way to get your thoughts out -- either to keep them private or to hand over to your partner as a healthy form of communication.

  • Talking and listening. Knowing your partner’s very specific style here is the key!

  • Body Image. Learning to love yourself can take a huge amount of bravery and personal growth. If your partner has a hard time understanding how you view yourself, it can cause dissention among the ranks. Sharing your heart with each other certainly helps, and seeking support from your spouse will let them know how important the journey really is. Grab Monica’s book called The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny Friends to learn more about how she tackled this issue in her own life.

Monica says: “Great Love looks like support for one another right where we’re at - through good times and bad times and hard times, we DO hold each other to high standards, but I know we’ve always got each other’s back.” 

 

Find out more about Monica by connecting with her online!

Web: www.monicaswanson.com
Insta: @thegrommom + @healthyhappyandfree
Twitter: @thegrommom

Dec 6, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Kirsten Grove of Simply Grove

Kirsten gave some helpful tips about venting vs. complaining, and we also talked about how much it means to have a partner who hugs instead of hassles during an overwhelming moment. 

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love! 

XO - Jessie

 

Dec 5, 2016

Kirsten Grove and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from adoption to arguing over new furniture.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

 

  • Renovating a home together. Making jokes makes it WAY more fun, and singing through the process keeps the late nights light-hearted. Tune in to Kirsten’s snapchat to see her hilarious segment called, “Late Nights With Shane.”
  • First-date romance. Proof that this can be embraced whether it’s been 16 years or 16 days into the relationship. (Interestingly, this is yet another example of one of the wives I’ve chatted with who happens to be shy about eating in front of their partner on the first date. Is this a phenomenon?)
  • Finding “The One.” Kirsten moves to a new city on a whimsical crush, and little did she know that dreaming big would be one of the things that made Shane her main man. They’ve settled in Boise to raise their family, and her own experience proves that you can embrace nearly any town as your home, if you’re willing to put your heart into it.

 

  • Growing your family through adoption. The Groves have been so blessed by the beautiful children that have come into their world, and Kirsten trusts that God made this a reality by placing it onto her heart for a reason. Finding a partner who agreed with the decision right off the bat made it very easy to answer his proposal with an enthusiastic YES.

  • Venting vs. complaining. Try leading with the positive to prevent a gripe-fest from happening. Jessie opts to skip the “highs and lows” exercise, and Kirsten suggests the “sandwich method.” Either way, it can help your partner feel less piled-on if you’re in a better mood when they walk through the door.

  • Perpetual partnership. Acknowledging the priorities and emotions of your spouse will help solidify the commitment and prove that “you’re in it together.” The agreement here can be incredibly impactful on both your offspring and your extended family.

  • Facing conflict head-on. When two partners have differing conflict management styles, Kirsten recommends approaching the situation with as much patience as you can muster. We both agree that healthy communication styles can be learned as you go along, but offering each other a lot of grace is the best way to go.

  • Laughing like a lady. If you can make your partner giggle like a girl (whether they happen to be one, or not) it's one of the best forms of amusement that we can think of. Keeping this front of mind will be sure to make your marriage (and your whole life) a LOT more fun.

Kirsten says: “Great Love is when he knows how to hit all of my love languages in under ten minutes. In those moments, I have to ask -- God, how did I get so lucky?!”

Find out more about Kirsten and her work by visiting her online at SimplyGrove.com!

Dec 3, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Jenna Guizar of Blessed is She

Jenna confirmed that surrounding yourself with a strong community can be exactly what we need to provide hope for a crumbling marriage. We talked about self-worth, mental health, and pep-talks within the context of a relationship and if you absorb ANYTHING from this episode, I pray that it inspires you to go out and share hope with another wife today. :) 

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!  

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love! 

XO - Jessie

 

Dec 2, 2016
Jenna Guizar and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from cutting curfews to crumbling relationships.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Embarrassing music preferences. From Jason Mraz to Eminem. Workout tunes that provide the best soundtrack to all of your sweat sessions.
  • The Love Diet. When your first date jitters give you unbelievable nausea, but then you pass the honeymoon phase and find yourself constantly binging on burritos. (Oh that's not a thing? Ok, just me then.) Jenna nibbled on chicken wings while Jessie went for an extra serving of Mongolian BBQ.
  • Being besties with your boo. Building a romantic relationship with a dear friend can provide a beautiful foundation for your story. (Might want to make sure both people are aware of the relationship at some point, but it's a good start.)
  • A gaggle of girls. The Guizars have three darling daughters, but there is a decent possibility that they’ll end up having three more! Jenna will keep us posted on whether or not they can sneak a boy in there. ;)
  • Laughing together. Not everyone understands how much fun it is to make fun of each other in a playful way. Jessie’s theory is: When marriages are rooted in friendship, you never have to question when is the right time to start goofing off. (Plus, we know from Marriage is Funny that it’s important to find humor in every mess.)
  • Being married to someone in ministry. If your partner’s identity is tied to their service or their work, it can be SO difficult when their call or career changes and they end up losing their sense of self. Individual self-worth plays a huge part in all marriages, but building each other up is the best way to strengthen that bi-directional bond.
  • Communal living. The "village mentality" can be so impactful, and there’s nothing like having a huge range of friends to help you raise your kids. Jenna reminds us how important it is to have friends (and BE the friend) who will hold women up when others need hope.

  • Bridging the gap between moms and ministry. Jenna started an organization called Blessed is She and their mission is to encourage women right where they are. 

  • Tell people when you need help. Being vulnerable with people that you trust (or in our case: the entire world, via the internet) can bring about incredible blessings when it comes to personal growth. Remember that honesty breeds goodness, and shame cannot live in the dark. Jenna talks about what it’s like to almost give up on a crumbling marriage, but her saving grace was a pep-talk from a friend about belief and the chance to rebuild.

Jenna says: “When both of us put our own selves aside and lift up the other, that is when Great Love is magnified in our home.”

To find out more, follow Jenna on twitter and check out Blessed is She for a dose of inspiration, encouragement, and scripture. 

Dec 1, 2016

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Jen Pinkston of The Effortless Chic

Jen reminded me that a slower pace of life might actually be the new status symbol, and she smartly insists that bringing a third-party into tricky conversations with your partner is a great way to keep the communication from disintegrating. 

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!  

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed where ever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review or share this podcast with a wife that you love!

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